Windows 98 recall - Texas Edition

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas Edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Texas. If you have received the Texas Edition in error, but still wish to use it, you may need some help understanding the special commands and terminology.

The Texas Edition can be recognized by the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98, with a background picture of The Alamo superimposed on a Lone Star flag.
It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

* The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
* My Computer is called "This Infernal Contraption"
* Dialup Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
* Control Panel is known as "the Durn Dashboard"
* Hard Drive is referred to as "4-wheel drive"
* Floppies are referred to as "them little ole' plastic disk thangs"
* Instead of an error message, you get a window covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

Other commands and terms differ as follows:

* OK = 'ats aw-right
* cancel = hail no
* reset = aw shoot
* yes = shore
* no = naaaah
* find = hunt-fer it
* go to = over yonder
* back = back yonder
* help = hep me out here
* stop = ternit off
* start = crank it up
* settings = sittins
* programs = stuff 'at does stuff
* documents = stuff I done done

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. If you received a copy of the Texas edition, you may return it to Microsoft for a copy of the standard version. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused you.